Watching a friend struggle with addiction can be heartbreaking and confusing. You may feel helpless, unsure of how to support them while protecting your own well-being. You will want to approach your friend compassionately but realize that for the friendship to survive, you need to set healthy boundaries to protect yourself.
Recognizing Signs of Addiction
Addiction often reveals itself through behavioral changes. Some common signs you may notice include:
- Your friend may isolate themselves from you and other friends and family
- They may neglect responsibilities at work or school
- They may have sudden mood swings or irritability
- Their sleep patterns may have changed
- They may act secretive and have unexplained financial problems
- They may show physical changes like weight loss or poor hygiene
- They may change their social circle and surround themselves with others who enable their behavior and use drugs or alcohol
- They may lose interest in previously enjoyed activities
- They may have serious health consequences as a result of their addiction, such as heart problems, organ failure, or worsening mental health disorders
If you notice several of these signs in your friend, they may be dealing with a substance use disorder.
Ways to Approach Your Friend About Their Addiction
Talking to a friend about their substance abuse can be difficult. It requires sensitivity and empathy. Here are some tips that can help start the conversation with your friend:
- Choose the right time and place: Timing is everything. Find a private, comfortable setting when your friend is sober.
- Express concern, not judgment: Use “I” statements to convey your feelings. For example, “I’ve noticed some changes in your behavior, and I’m worried about you.”
- Be specific: Mention concrete examples of behaviors that concern you. For example, you could mention that you notice they have been missing work or are late on their car payments.
- Listen actively: Allow your friend to share their feelings without interruption. If they begin to open up to you about their addiction, listen and do not stop them from saying what is on their mind.
- Offer support: Let them know you’re there to help in whatever way you can. Supporting a loved one with a substance use disorder is not always easy, but having support from loved ones is essential for a lasting recovery.
- Suggest professional help: Encourage them to speak with someone about their addiction or to seek professional support. At Twin Lakes Recovery Center, we offer a variety of programs and services to help those suffering from substance use disorders. We have an inpatient residential program, outpatient treatment, detox services, and more.
It’s common for people struggling with addiction to deny the problem or resist help. If your friend is reluctant to seek help or admit they have a problem with drugs or alcohol, be patient. Recovery is a process, and it may take time for your friend to accept help.
You will want to educate yourself about addiction. This will help you understand what your friend is experiencing. In addition, avoid enabling. Don’t cover for their mistakes or bail them out of consequences related to their addiction. If the situation is severe, consult a professional interventionist.
Setting Boundaries in Your Friendship
Supporting a friend with addiction is no small task. It can take a toll on your own mental health. This is why setting boundaries is important. Some ways to set clear boundaries are:
- Define your limits: Decide what behaviors you will and won’t tolerate.
- Communicate clearly: Express your boundaries to your friend in a calm, firm manner.
- Be consistent: Enforce your boundaries consistently to avoid confusion.
- Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that reduce stress and promote well-being.
- Seek support: Join a support group for friends and family of someone suffering from a substance use disorder, such as Al-Anon.
- Know when to step back: If the relationship becomes toxic or harmful to your mental health, it’s okay to distance yourself.
While you can’t force someone to change, you can offer support and encourage them to seek help. At Twin Lakes Recovery Center in Monroe, Georgia, we have resources and support to help your friend get on the path to a lasting recovery. Please contact us to learn more.
